Harem Boys
by White-tiger-demoness
Summary: Empress Seem doesn't want to get married, she just wants to have fun! Join Seem and her harem on all their crazy adventures as she tries to remain a free woman. Au! Humor! Multi-pairing! *Moved from Plottsel-Breeder account*
1. Chapter 1

Gol and Seem are played by TruthxLiesxMagic. Jak, Darke (Dark Jak) and Li'ght (Light Jak) are played by Tiger. This Chapter edited by Tiger.

Story moved to this account for continuation and ease of access purposes.

Disclaimer: All things Jak and Daxter belong to Naughty Dog, we're just using them for a good laugh.

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Seem tapped her fingers impatiently on the table she was sat at. Razer, her - she shuddered at the word - fiancee, should have been here by now. She wanted him to arrive as soon as possible, so she could tell him that she wouldn't marry him for all the money and Eco in the world. Honestly, for a start it was plain as day that the Northern prince did not have any interests in the female sex, and Seem enjoyed her... freedom far too much for it to be compromised by something as ridiculous as marriage.

Good. So now she just needed Lord Gefahr to get himself in here so she could tell him all that. Right.

Seem buried her face in her hands with a groan. Why did she always have to deal with these things herself? She was a Precurors-damned Empress, shouldn't she have people to do these things for her?

At least, Seem mused, she had that new slave to play with tonight.

Jak was nervous.

Very, very nervous.

The lady Seem had, er, 'seemed' kind enough when she had bought him from the slavers. The rumors the other servants had told him about his new position however, were not as lovely. So here he was, standing outside of his new room (his own room! Though he was aware that he'd have to share) staring at the door like it was going to bite him. He raised a hand and rapped quietly on the door.

Gol was bored. Very bored, in fact. The Empress was going to be busy today with her fiancee, which she hoped would be the last time she saw him, so he wouldn't be getting any amusement that way today. Although, Gol privately hoped that the Northern prince would find time to... drop by, as it were. Precursors knew the man had certain impulses he himself could relate to, and the man obviously had a body gifted to him by the gods, if the tight clothing - as tight as furs could be, anyway - were anything to go by.

So the blonde looked up in both surprise and anticipation as he heard a tentative knock on the door. He set his book on Eco Theory to one side, a smirk slowly spreading over his features.

"It's open." He drawled. "As always..."

Perhaps the day was looking up.

Jak pushed the door open and peeked into the room. A moment of hesitation passed upon seeing the blonde man lounging on one of the large, plush chairs.

Gol's eyes flashed as he took in the boy who had fidgeted into the room. This one was young, very young, and much closer to the Empress's age than any of the others - except perhaps that redhead - but he was so obviously naive that Gol had to fight back a laugh. No use in scaring the new one off just yet...

" Er, I'm Jak." He stepped nervously into the room " I uh...work here now?" The statement came out more as a question, Jak still eying the other man warily.

"Hello, Jak." Gol replied smoothly. "You must be the new one Seem was talking about." He stood and walked over to the boy, then around him, his arms folded, and his finger tapping his chin thoughtfully. Without warning, he smiled widely. "I suppose this makes us roommates. How delightful."

Gol paused, and then shook his head.

"But what am I thinking?" He held out his hand, accompanied by a smirk, his expression suddenly slightly disturbing. "I am Gol Acheron."

Warning lights flashed in Jak's head, bright blue and urgent. Until dark violet curled around them and urged Jak to take the man's hand with a giddy feeling. Listening to the Dark violet always meant trouble, so Jak hesitated.

Gol raised an eyebrow at Jak's hesitation. True, the new ones were usually nervous, but there was something-

The blonde took a half-step backwards in face of the unexpected wave of Dark Eco. By the Precursors, where had that come from? Surely not from the boy, he was far too much of an innocent to have enough Dark Eco in him to cause that.

Yet it had to be. The only other person in the room was Gol himself, and he had enough self-control to prevent such an occurence.

This one needed watching...

Trying to act as if nothing had happened, Gol fixed his smirk back in place, and held out his hand once again.

"I don't bite, you know."

The dark was pushing hard against Jak's control, it sensed something in the other man and by the precursors it wanted out. Fighting a panic Jak pushed back...until the man's sexy voice broke his concentration. Darkness overwhelmed both him and the Brightness and surged to the surface.

"You don't bite?" The Dark being now wearing Jak's features grinned, showing off pointed teeth.

"Oh, but I do!" was the velvety purr as the beast pounced.

Gol wasn't expecting the transformation, or the pounce, but he recovered extremely quickly, pushing the boy back just enough to roll out from under him. He'd done his share of fighting in his life, and he knew how to get the upper hand. The fact that Jak was a Dark saturate just made it all much easier.

With hardly a thought, he manipulated the Eco in Jak's body, bending it to his will, and suspending the boy a couple of feet off the floor. Let him thrash about all he wanted. At least up there the only damage he'd do would be to himself.

"Really." He commented dryly, half to Jak and half to himself. "I was only trying to be polite."

It only took moments for Darke to realize physical thrashing wasn't going to get him anywhere. Huffing, he glared down at Gol with an annoyed look. Jak and the so-bright-it-burns squashed his fun all the time, he didn't need it from his toys too.

Darke reached out mentally to the invisible flows of Dark eco holding them up with a predatory tendril of his own. Following the lines back to the other Channeler, Darke wrapped the eco around him and squeezed. Not enough to kill the other of course (then he couldn't play with him) but enough to fight for dominance.

He paced around the boy, looking up speculatively and muttering to himself.

"Hm... you really are interesting. A Dark saturate, yet with no signs of degradation, no control it would seem... probably no teacher... yet unguided saturation shouldn't be survivable..."

Gol smirked, showing his own set of pointed teeth.

"You and I are going to get along very well."

Gol, having assumed that Jak was untrained, had rather foolishly dropped his guard once he had him caught.

Thus, when Dark Eco wrapped around him in a hold not quite strong enough to kill, he cursed inwardly. Experimentally, he tried to loosen the grip, but to no avail. The brute strength was outdoing his control.

Jak and Shiny-cold-bright-light tried to rise up again as Darke battled with Gol. Protesting, fearing what would happen to them if they were found out again. He of course argued he could simply kill the other channeler when he was done.

Dead men don't talk very well after all.

Pushing them down again Dark also pointed out that the other man was obviously a Dark channeler, and why would he turn in one of his own when they could do the same to him? The notion seemed to quell the other two for the moment, but in the split moment it took to convince them dark had been distracted.

A bead of sweat trailed down Gol's face as he expertly parried each mental strike the boy sent at him and knew he couldn't keep this up for much longer. Even so, Gol did not give up, and merely bided his time, waiting for a moment when the grip would loosen sufficiently. He knew from experience that a move such as this required intense concentration to keep up. Once slip, one distraction, and...

Aha!

Something - Gol had no idea what - had distracted Jak. Acting quickly, he dispelled the grip, strengthened his own bonds around his opponent, and brought him to the floor roughly, but not enough so to injure him. Not permanently, anyway.

Amazingly, he was still smirking.

"Someone needs to learn their place around here." He murmured, and then raised his voice as he began to pace. "I suppose you think you have the upper hand. After al, we are both Dark channellers, why would I turn in one of my own kind, or vice-versa."

Abruptly, Gol stopped, and turned back to Jak.

"You are quite mistaken if you do think that, though I commend your logic. Lady Seem knows what I am - it is one of the reasons I'm here - so telling tales will you precisely nowhere." He chuckled. "Just let me know when you're ready to be civil, and I'll be happy to let you up. Don't bother trying to fight the bonds, I have a lot more control and experience than you do."

Darke huffed and glared up at the man from his new position on the floor in annoyance.

"I was being civil. You're the one who attacked me, I wouldn't break a toy before I got to play with it." Darke turned his head away from the man, feigning disinterest. There would be other times he could catch the man off guard.

"Though if that's the way you feel I'll just leave." and with that Darke sunk back into the depths of Jak's mind, forcing one of the others to take his place. The Cold-Bright-light scolded him as it pushed Jak forwards. The sudden withdrawal of darkeco caused Jak to fall slightly. The eco wasn't gone, just repressed after all.

"Of course," Gol muttered dryly. "Please, don't feel the need to return any time soon." As he fought the urge to roll his eyes heavenward for patience, Gol noticed a change in the younger blond's eyes. He also noticed that a large portion of Jak's Dark eco seemed to dissapeer. Gol studied the other channeler for a moment before taking note that the eco was only repressed. Eyes widening slightly Gol pondered the possibility of the boy having Multiple Personality Disorder.

"Um, I'm sorry?" Jak awkwardly looked up at his new roommate, silently cursing Darke for his mood swings.

So on top of being untrained and cocky, the boy's alter ego was also apparently suffering from selective amnesia.

Wonderful.

Seeing as this personality seemed uninterested in doing him harm, and was considerably more polite, Gol checked Jak's Eco levels before releasing the bonds and offering him a hand up. How strange. Gol had studied Dark Eco for many, many years and yet he had never before come across a case where a saturate suffered from sharing his mind and body with an alter ego. Perhaps it was a mental illness he had always had, that had merely been enhanced by the Eco? It was a possibility, but it didn't seem quite right. He would have to conduct further research.

"You might have warned me, you know." Gol commented cheerfully. His indignation at the brief fight was outweighed by the amazing potential for expanding his studies that the boy represented. "I don't know about you, but I'm rather averse to being attacked by someone I'm simply trying to be civil to."

Jak stared at the floor in embarrassment while answering.

"We...I try not to advertise that I've got Dark eco running through my veins." Jak, regaining a bit of his confidence, looked the other man in the eye. " I really am sorry about that, the eco just got...excited when it felt you." His gaze turned inquisitive then.

"I've never met another Dark channeler."

"Yes, it would seem that we are a rapidly declining sect of channelers." It was true; even Gol, who had travelled widely, the number of Dark channelers he had met could be counted on one hand, and that included his sister. Ah, Maia...

But back to the present. Gol was tempted to make a joke at the boy's expense - several lines immediately sprung to mind - but he refrained for the present, opting instead for honesty. Mostly, anyway.

"That's probably because you're untrained," the elder elf mused. "Really, have you ever even attempted to control that... thing? No, don't answer, I'm not sure I want to know the answer." Gol sighed, wondering why the Precursors had decided that the most attractive boy to catch Seem's eye of late also had to be the most troublesome. "Precursors on high, this is going to be a lot of work."

It would be worse than starting from scratch with a fresh-faced apprentice, because at least then he knew that he would be the one properly introducing them to channeling the eco. With Jak, Precursors alone knew what he'd gotten up to alone, or even how long he'd been a saturate, with no idea what he was doing.

Jak tilted his head like a confused Croca-puppy at Gol.

"What's going to be a lot of work?" Jak, bless his heart, was not the brightest fish in the barrel right after an episode as Dark Jak.


	2. Too much cactus juice

These guys are going to be OOC as penguins doing the salsa in the desert dressed as Ottsels. That's what crackfic is for! I wanted to do more with Jak and his mind buddies, but Seem is kinda an important part of the story and needed page time. Plus, Daxter!

Enjoy!

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Ambassador Erol of Haven city had been staying with the Empress Seem in the Wastelands for nearly two weeks now, negotiating various things from Trade to Travel, and exchanging culture of course. Today however the Empress was to meet with her betrothed and had dismissed Erol to his own devices. Thus, the orange haired Havenite varied from exploring the vast temple-castle to wandering aimlessly.

"Precursors on high, this is going to be a lot of work." A mans voice drifted from an open nearby door. Erol paused in front of it to peer inside with vague interest just at the right moment to witness what had to be the cutest thing he had ever seen.

"What's going to be a lot of work?" There were two men in the room, both blonde though it had been the younger who'd spoken. The elder glanced up as he noticed Erol in the door way with an exasperated expression. Then the younger blonde (though Erol noticed green at his roots, interesting) turned to follow the other's gaze to Erol, and Erol promptly took back his earlier thought about the boy being cute.

He was gorgeous ( and not exactly a boy if the goatee, green like the roots of his hair, was any indicator). Grinning slyly as a fox Erol took a stride into the room.

"Excuse me Gentlemen, didn't mean to interrupt anything."

The younger blonde gave him a wary look that sent tingles down his spine. The cautious ones were _always_ more fun to break in.

And suddenly, Gol's day got a hell of a lot better.

"Of course not, my dear Ambassador," he purred, his attention diverted from Jak in favor of the Havenite. He had not yet had the pleasure of speaking with Erol yet, but Gol knew of his reputation, and even if he hadn't, he only had to look at the man to want to get to know him very well.

Oh, if he wasn't busy with Jak right now... but perhaps the boy could wait. After all, if he hadn't killed himself so far, it was unlikely that he would manage to do so in the next hour. Or several hours. Or, hell, even all night. And Erol was looking delightful. It was amazing how easy it was to coerce foreigners into lighter clothing once they were overwhelmed by the Wasteland temperatures.

"We were merely discussing a... trivial matter," Gol continued, taking a step towards Erol. "Something that can easily be put aside. What brings you here, Ambassador?"

Erol paused at the elder blonde's sudden shift from exasperated to interested, but recovered quickly with an (false) apologetic grin.

"If you have the time, I seem to have gotten quite lost." Here he waved a hand in an gesturing arc." Though these halls are certainly each unique and unforgettable in their own way, such things are useful in finding one's way only is one is paying attention." Erol tried for a sheepish look at the younger blonde, but it came out more impish then anything. Cute and helpless just didn't sit properly on his features after all.

Jak, bless his little dark eco filled heart, was still recovering mentally from his episode as Darke Jak and as such was closer to his primal instincts then usual. Those instincts were telling him to go and hide behind Gol while the elder drove the new man,[i]predator[i],off.

Jak forced himself to hold his ground. He would not go and hide behind a man he'd just met fellow Dark Channeler or not, regardless of how much he did not like how the new man was looking at him.

AT ALL.

So imagine his confusion when said fellow channeler was more then friendly to the intruder (Ambassador, Gol had said.) and if his heightened senses were correct a little excited as well. Not in the giddy-happy-lets-go-play sense either. His gentler side, Li'ght, agreed with him wholeheartedly that this new man was to be avoided. Darke on the other hand was his un-helpful self and insisted that the new man would be fun. Serves them right for interrupting him earlier, which if they hadn't there would ALREADY be fun.

To that statement Li'ght promptly flared up and gave Darke the mental equivalent of a bitch slap, which for some reason Jak imagined was done with tentacles. Not one to take that kinda shit sitting down, Darke retaliated in kind and a mental slap fight ensued with poor Jak caught in the middle.

'_Guys, GUYS! Not now oh for the Love of the Precursors PLEASE don't do this right now!'_ Jak squeaked and tried vainly to repress the flares of eco caused by the two fighting. Jak didn't know how attuned this other channeler was, so he probably wouldn't feel Li'ght, but the green-blonde teen decidedly did NOT want to give Gol the reason to believe he was going to go Darke again for ANY reason. Especially with that Ambassador guy there.

'_Guuuuuuu~ys!_' He whined mentally, still ignored.

"A tour of our fine home then, Ambassador, or were you hoping to return to your rooms to rest for the day?" Gol asked, mentally sighing when he felt Jak's eco levels flaring again. This boy would _definitely_ be a lot of work.

"While a tour sounds lovely, I think I'd rather like to be back in my rooms. This heat wears on the body." Erol replied. Perhaps the two blondes could be encouraged to stay for an..."extended visit" to his quarters.

"Very well. Jak," Said Gol, turning to address the young man. "I think it would best if you stayed here and got some rest. I'm sure your day thus far has been very tiring and I don't want to be the one who has to explain to the Empress about any _mishaps_." He said in a warning tone to let the younger channeler know that he had best pull himself together.

Jak nodded, relieved. If he was by himself it wouldn't matter how much his other two personalities fought. Erol on the other hand was a bit disappointed as Gol lead him out. Oh well, one couldn't have everything.

"You'll have to forgive the boy on his manners Ambassador. He's only just joined our Lady Seem's..._employ_ today." Said the dark channeler after they began their journey.

"Ah? And what would the boy be doing, If I may ask. I'm always eagar to learn more about day to day life in the Wasteland." Erol smoothly inquired.

"Always glad to educate. Jak was bought recently from..." Gol paused to search his memory before continuing, "An outlaying Marauder tribe of her Ladyship's eastern domain I believe. He will, after some instruction, be joining the Empresses' harem."

"Her-?!" Choking in surprise and stumbling a step, Erol inwardly cursed himself for being caught off guard as he composed himself. "I was unaware of that particular chain in the palace hierarchy." Saved the redhead after his brief blunder.

"Vastly different from the ways of Haven, I know." Gol chuckled. "But I assure you though we are legally slaves our Lady treats us well. With her Ladyship's help I would boast to being better read than many of the lesser nobles."

"Then you are...employed in that manner as well?" Erol asked, keeping his features calm and his stride even.

"I am." Grinned Gol. "To further your education on the subject I would add that unless expressly forbidden by the Empress, Ambassadors have full access to the harem to make their stay more welcoming." Erol considered this for a moment, and smirked.

"I'm afraid I have many questions to ask you to further my understanding of this system, if you would spare me some time from your day." Purred the redhead, still smirking.

Gol smirked back.

0000000000000000000000000000000000000

"Cheer up, Your Ladyship! Ole' cancer stick ain't half the woman you are. Obviously. I mean he has an impeccable sense of style, but I bet that wont save his hide from being cherry red before the day is out. Heh! I bet if you draw this out long enough he'll agree to anything just to go back to that frozen waste he calls home! Now me, I prefer sand to snow. For one it doesn't melt when you-"

Seem smiled to herself as her favorite attendant (outside of her harem, of course) babbled on while he served her water. Chilled and a little sweet, the Empress didn't know how Daxter managed that but she suspected he laced it with cactus juice. He was a cute boy with his buckteeth and freckles, and had a lot of spunk.

Best of all he wasn't afraid to speak his mind around her. He never scrapped and bowed (expect when appearances demanded it, but in private like this? Never.) and while most nobles would find that unacceptable Seem found it refreshing.

"Empress Seem, Your betrothed has arrived." A servant bowed from the doorway.

"Send him in." She sighed, sinking back into her chair. She would prefer to be in one of the lavish sitting rooms, lounging on plush pillows and not this uncomfortable wood and reed chair. Northeners however had a thing for tables that sat ridiculously high off the ground. So did Havenites for that matter. Formality and appearances were two of the most aggravating things about her position.

"Seem. A pleasure to see you again." Said the northern lord as he strode into the room. Daxter hurried to pull his chair out for him and made a face behind his back. Seem tried to hold back a smile.

"Razer." She replied simply. For a time there was an awkward silence as Daxter poured the Lord his own drinks and royalty avoided the issue. The two of them had never been comfortable around each other being from such vastly different worlds. Lingering where the other man couldn't see him, Daxter gave Seem a thumbs up for support. She took a deep breath.

"I am not marrying you!"

"I wish to cancel our engagement." Seem and Razer both blurted out at the same time, though the man with more restraint. Both blinked at each other as they processed the words, then dissolved into laughter.

"Those are exactly the words I wanted to hear. Consider it done." Seem breathed in relief.

"If only it were that simple my dear, I would have never come to this too warm sand trap. No offense of course." Razer sighed, sinking back into his chair, and taking a generous sip of his drink.

"No offense taken, if you would accept that your home is a sun forsaken snowball that refuses to melt." Bantered Seem in good nature. "You make a good point however. For this to work we need..._heirs_." She shuddered. Perhaps later in life children would be for her, but now as a young woman in her prime she entertained no such notion, and consumed a powerful contraceptive daily to prevent such a thing.

"Yes. Trade and alliance can be had either way, but to continue the line...Seem you know of my _preferences_. How am I to acquire such an heir? I will _not_ let my brother take the throne. An outcome neither of us want I'm sure." With this Seem wholeheartedly agreed. The younger of the two lords was a violent and greedy man. War would be the first thing on his mind.

"So you come to me for consul?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Who better to glean advice about children then from my own fiancee?" He laughed playfully, his words seeming a little slurred. Now that she thought about it his face was looking red as well. At first Seem had assumed it was the heat but now...

"Razer...are you _Drunk_?" Seem incredulously asked. Razer stared at her for a moment, giggled, and passed out face down on the table.

"Uhh...maybe givin' him straight cactus juice wasn't such a good idea..." Her servant mumbled sheepishly.

"Daxter!" Seem scolded, drawing a hand over her face.

"What! I thought it would help make him more, you know, agreeable." The red head defended.

"And for that foresight, I thank you, but now how are we going to drag him to his rooms without anyone seeing? I highly doubt what ever guard he brought that waits outside will find this agreeable." Seem gave him an un-amused look when Daxter couldn't come up with an answer. Razer snored unhelpfully in his sleep.


	3. Run, Jak, Run!

Heads up, Nanowrimo is coming so updates will be iffy.

Thanks to Darkecofreak3 for reviewing!

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In the end Seem rejected every elaborate plot Daxter came up with to sneak the Northern lord past his guards and simply decided to tell the truth.

"Tell your lord that if he cannot handle the strength of our liquor he shouldn't be drinking it during our meetings." Well mostly the truth. Razer's men looked properly embarrassed on the behalf of their leader as they dragged him towards his rooms. Seem was just relieved the dark haired man was someone else's problem now.

"So next on today's list of super fun things for the Empress to do...meeting the new 'employee' and making sure Gol hasn't turned him insane already." Daxter read from a list as he ambled two steps behind her down the spacious halls. "Then after that a quick peek in on the Haven guy to make sure he's still, ya know, _alive._ What's he even doing here again?"

"Negotiating an alliance against King Damas. Idiots." Seem rolled her eyes. Her people may have had an uneasy peace with Spargus but it was a peace nonetheless. Still war with Haven for turning down their offer flat out wasn't desirable either which was why these negotiations continued. It seemed like every corner was pressing for war in one way or another. Men! Thought Seem, this is why her people always had a _female_ leader. Much more sensible and level headed.

Arriving at their destination Seem paused to allow Daxter to open the door for her. Expected duties of her personal servant at all. Expectations that DIDN'T involve loud and profane exclamations of shock.

"Holy SHIT, _Jak?!"_

* * *

Earlier...

Jak sunk gratefully into the plush pillow mound as the older men left, all attempts at containing the sparks of eco shooting off his body gone. Best to just let his personalities fight it out. The polar entities would get tired after a while and quit. they probably wouldn't even remember why they were fighting to begin with. It had been that way since Li'ght joined Darke in his head over a year ago. Constant petty squabbles followed by huffy make ups.

Most of the huffiness was on Li'ght's part surprisingly enough. Darke was more fond and protective of his 'little brother' than one would think a incarnation of dark eco capable of. The protectiveness probably came from the fact that Darke had been the first one to notice Li'ght existed, as a little forming thought in the back of Jak's mind. Which made sense since he lived there. At first Li'ght had been small and quiet, Jak didn't think he was capable of speech at first he was so quiet, but after long amounts of time with Darke the younger personality grew in size and snarkyness.

Most people would find it weird to have siblings that lived in their heads. To Jak it was just...normal. Darke had been with him since he was a little boy. Somehow dark eco had gotten into the food supply at the small town where Jak lived on the edge of the Wasteland. Naturally the food was thrown out. Naturally no one told the scores of hungry orphans plaguing the streets. A lot of kids got sick and died. Jak just grew horns and claws every now and then.

It didn't start out that way. At first he was just more prone to fits of temper. Then one of his surviving friends pointed out that if he was immune to dark eco maybe he could channel it like the other colors. They had been right, but more exposure to the volatile substance only increased his dependence on it.

Jak hadn't been the only one who turned out to have an dark eco immunity but unlike himself his best friend couldn't channel the stuff. Still Daxter had been immune and that made him Jak's second most constant companion in the years to come (the first being Darke, of course). Heck if it wasn't for Daxter Jak would have thought he was insane when Darke started talking to him. Except Daxter could hear him too. No one else ever could, which retroactively made him question both of their sanities, but at the time the green-blonde never questioned it.

As Darke and Li'ght finally started to settle down in the corners of his mind Jak wondered if this lead would finally be the one that lead him to Daxter. It had been nearly two years since slavers had grabbed the taller (yet slighter) boy. Two years of tearing apart camps looking for him. A year and a half since a light eco vent had exploded under him as he ran through buried ruins trying to escape angry Marauders during that search. After all this time Jak had gotten a lead that someone matching Daxter's description had been seen at the capital palace. That's why he'd allowed himself to be captured and sold. Easiest way into the Empress' palace.

"Holy shit, _Jak?!" _Came a familiar voice from the doorway, startling him out of his thought.

"Daxter!" Jak exclaimed, jumping to his feet.

'**Daxter?'** Darke questioned from his position on the floor of their mind, buried in glowing tentacles.

_'Daxter?'_ Li'ght echoed in confusion.

"Jak! Darke! How- wait did I just hear a third guy in there?" Jak shrugged a little sheepishly. "That doesn't matter. Jak! You're alive! I always knew you were buddy!" The red head enveloped the shorter male with what would be a bone crushing hug to anyone without eco induced super powers.

"Ahem." Came from the doorway. Standing there was a pale white woman with white hair and red eyes. Jak had seen stranger combinations but Daxter jumped.

"Oh uh...Yer highness! Er, this is..." Daxter cleared his throat. "Sorry. We know each other, your ladyship." The woman looked more amused than anything.

"I had guessed. A blessing in some ways to have a friend in a strange place filled with stranger people. Did I happen to hear you address a second person?" Said the woman, who from the way she was dressed and the way Daxter had reacted to her must have been the Empress. Great.

"...It's complicated." Daxter dodged. "Where the heck is Gol? Tallish guy with blonde hair, patched of purple skin from eco degradation?" he asked Jak.

"The...Haven ambassador? Showed up and Gol went back to his rooms for er, 'entertainment'." Jak flushed slightly, then harder when he remembered that the woman standing in the room had bought him for that very purpose. Not that he would be staying that long.

"I see." Said the Empress with an exasperated expression. She practically glided further into the room and made herself at home on the pillow pile. "While we wait for my irresponsible slave to return, tell me about yourself Jak. It's not often I can wring out details about my favorite servant's past." Jak noticed the distinction the woman made between 'slave' and 'servant' as though there was one. Jak wondered which category he fit into.

"Ah well, it's not _that_ interesting..." Protested Daxter, also flopping down. Jak awkwardly followed suite, Darke and Li'ght mutually quiet for once.

'**So is Dax a sex slave too?' **Maybe Jak spoke too soon.

"Too? Oh yeah...that." Daxter flushed a bit "Naw I don't take care of that...aspect of our lady's needs."

'_So this is the boy your two either wont talk about or wont shut up about in equal amounts?'_ Li'ght asked, peering at the red head as much as he could out of Jak's eyes.

"Yeah and _who the heck is that?_" Daxter said with wide eyes. "Don't tell me you picked up another one! I knew yer head was pretty empty but there can't be THAT much free space." He joked.

'_I'm Li'ght. I joined Jak and Darke a few months after you left.'_ Said the light eco entity helpfully. '_How can he even hear us?'_

**'He just can.**' Darke snapped.

"Lay-jit? Well at least that's more original than Darke's name." Shrugged Daxter with a grin.

"Excuse me." Seem deadpanned. All four (technically two) heads swiveled to meet her gaze. "WHO are you talking to?"

"Jak has voices in his head. It's ok though, he's pretty good at ignoring their urging to kill people!" Daxter replied happily, before going back to chatting with Li'ght and Darke. Jak held his silence because that was the EMPRESS sitting there. Weren't they supposed to be bowing and hanging on her every demand? Maybe he should just grab Daxter and run right now. Jak bet they could make it to at least the inner gates before the guards got organized enough to come after them.

"..And you guys are going to like it here. Seem is really nice and treats all her slaves pretty well. Plus if you try to escape Spargus is really the only place you can go without being turned in, if you can make it that far." Why did the red head sound so _cheerful_ about that?

"If you made it to Spargus you'd have to participate in their barbaric citizenship exam." Seem rolled her eyes. "What kind of city makes you fight to the death to see who is more worthy of living there? Some of my Marauder camps are more civilized."

"What about Haven or the North?" Jak asked in what he hoped was a discreet manner.

"Haven will do anything at this point to get in my good graces, including returning lost 'property'." Seem said with a sharp look. Jak tried not to sweat.

"And who would want to go _North?_ Do you KNOW how much snow is up there? Ick!" Daxter added. Seem narrowed her eyes in a calculating stare. Finally she rose to her feet.

"Daxter, why don't you stay here and catch up with your friend? I need to check in on our dear Havenite." Daxter nodded happily as Jak mentally panicked.

* * *

Seem strode down the hallway just short of a near run. She knew that look in Jak's eyes, she had had slaves run before. Well THIS one wasn't getting away before she got to have her fun with him! ESPECIALLY after all that money she paid for him! Arriving at Erol's door and finding it locked, she almost casually kicked it down. Said door hit the ground with a mighty 'whump'! followed by shouts of surprise from the two men inside.

"I need you to sit on my newest acquisition until I can get a tracker chip for him." Seem said in false sweetness, dragging a naked Gol from where he was entwined with an equally naked Erol.

"E-E-Empress!" Erol sputtered, covering himself with the sheet. "Couldn't you have at least waited a few more minutes?" He asked in indignation.

"No." She said simply, Gol only managing to gather his pants from the floor and pull them on due to much practice as the Empress dragged him away.

"We will have to continue this later!" Gol called as he was drug down the hall.

Well so much for HIS fun night, Erol thought with an aggravated sigh.

* * *

Meanwhile Gol and Seem had almost reached the man's quarters.

"Might I ask what this is all about?" Gol was used to his mistress' whims, but asking rarely hurt.

"The new boy, Jak, is looking to make a run for it. This one is NOT to get away, he's too hot!" She exclaimed, throwing open the door to an...empty room.

"Fast one, isn't he?" Gol mused.


End file.
